On the way to Tulum, as she wraps up various campaigns and photo shoots in LA, Kelsey Merritt talks about her modeling journey and what it takes to be going places.

PHOTOGRAPHY Jen Wolf STYLING Danyl Geneciran

Owning her space &ldquo;There definitely was a time when I was insecure about my looks [and my] height,&rdquo; says Kelsey Merritt. At the age of 24, Kelsey has achieved accomplishments that aspiring models can only dream of.
 A native of Pampanga, Philippines &mdash; the Filipino-American model was the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlGFCga_lmU">first from the country to ever walk the Victoria&rsquo;s Secret Fashion Show in 2018</a>. This was quickly followed by <a href="https://swimsuit.si.com/swimsuit/model/kelsey-merritt-2019-photos">a feature in the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated in 2019</a>. Recently, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/COQ1UAknDRk/">she was launched as the newest face of Bulgari Fragrances</a>. Despite the accolades, critics questioned whether she&rsquo;s Filipino enough and whether it&rsquo;s an identity she deserved to be brandishing on catwalks and magazines.
 &ldquo;It got to me a bit, because I&rsquo;m Filipino, and comments like that sting. I&rsquo;m so proud of where I came from, and so proud of the hard work I did, moving from the Philippines to New York to chase my dream,&rdquo; says Kelsey. &ldquo;It was crazy&hellip; so I was a bit nervous if it was even possible to do at all. But I believed in myself because if I didn&rsquo;t at least believe I could do it, then who would?&rdquo; With more successes in tow, she eventually learned to dismiss the negativity with a decisive conclusion: &ldquo;No matter what they say, I&rsquo;m Filipino. I&rsquo;m not going to let other people tell me who I am and who I&rsquo;m not.&rdquo;

top, pants, shoes, Louis Vuitton earrings, bracelet, LVNA by Drake Dustin

"I&rsquo;m not going to let other people tell me who I am and who I&rsquo;m not.&rdquo;

Flight response Kelsey remembers her beginnings with fondness. &ldquo;The first casting experiences I had were very different from my castings in Manila,&rdquo; she says. &ldquo;Some days I would have three castings in a day, sometimes ten. I didn&rsquo;t know New York well at that time, so I would have to map out my day and figure out which casting I needed to go to first. I took the subway because that was the cheapest form of transportation, and then walked the rest of the way. It was so fun and exciting literally running around Manhattan and Brooklyn trying to make it to my castings.&rdquo;
 Although the casting process can be emotionally grueling, Kelsey remains levelheaded, &ldquo;I realized that if I wasn&rsquo;t picked for a job, there was nothing wrong with me. I just wasn&rsquo;t the right person for the job. I don&rsquo;t take anything personally.&rdquo;&nbsp;
 Earning this level of grit is essential in surviving an aesthetic-driven industry where looks matter significantly. Kelsey shares that she rallied the help of her colleagues so she can get hacks and expert advice in becoming more &lsquo;undone&rsquo; as a model, &ldquo;My agency had met with me about how to look like a New York model: the clothes to wear, how I should wear my hair, and the amount of makeup allowed, if any.&rdquo;

blazer, Versace dress, Esme Palaganas x Isabel Santos necklace, earrings, ring, LVNA by Drake Dustin

She learned to simplify her beauty routine. In the morning, if she&rsquo;s feeling a little bit oily, she&rsquo;ll wash her face with a gentle cleanser from Summer Fridays; otherwise, she&rsquo;ll do a quick splash of water. She&rsquo;ll apply some Rich Cream from Augustinus Bader and then follow with an SPF from Dr. Barbara Sturm. In the evenings, after using the same gentle cleanser, she&rsquo;ll apply a balancing toner and hyaluronic acid serum from Dr. Barbara Sturm, followed by the same Augustinus Bader cream and the Bite Beauty Agave Lip Mask. &nbsp;
 &ldquo;The best thing to show up on set with is great skin. If I have redness, I use Bottle &amp; Stone&rsquo;s CBD face oil to calm my skin,&rdquo; says Kelsey. &ldquo;When I&rsquo;m prepping for an important shoot, or when I feel I need to do a skin reset, I see my amazing facialist Sonia Vargas from Skin Worship in LA. She works magic on me!&rdquo;

dress, Miu Miu earrings, ring, bracelet, LVNA by Drake Dustin

Body language&nbsp; Now based in LA where gyms have reopened, she trains five days a week. &ldquo;My view changed on fitness when I was in New York, especially when I started shooting lingerie and swimwear. I realized that working out and staying fit and healthy was my job,&rdquo; says Kelsey. &ldquo;It also helps with my confidence. If I&rsquo;m working out and eating healthy, not only do I feel amazing in my body; I&rsquo;m more confident as well.&rdquo;
 She does admit, however, that she faced the same struggles as everyone else did under lockdown. &ldquo;When the world went on lockdown, and I didn&rsquo;t have to work, didn&rsquo;t have a reason to stay fit, I let loose. I was cooking and baking so much food I otherwise would never have normally, and I had learned to love drinking wine.&rdquo;&nbsp;
 Kelsey was stunned when she put on her first pair of jeans after prolonged sessions in the kitchen trying out Dalgona coffee and banana bread. The jeans didn&rsquo;t fit &mdash; something that never happened to her before. Immediately, she knew it was time to make a change. &ldquo;I learned how to listen to my body, and actually realize what my body is feeling and why,&rdquo; Kelsey says. Her time in quarantine has made her vision of physical health and fitness increasingly more about being compassionate toward oneself. &ldquo;I started eating better because at the end of the day, I know how amazing it feels to be on a great diet, and I wanted that for myself again &mdash; to fuel my body with good, nutritious food.&rdquo; Strict diet and workout aside, she makes sure not to deprive herself of her favorite meals. &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t have cheat days; I don&rsquo;t call it anything. If I want to eat lechon kawali tonight, I&rsquo;m going to have it,&rdquo; she says.

dress, Miu Miu necklace, earrings, LVNA by Drake Dustin

Defining her place Despite her remarkable discipline and dedication in caring for herself, Kelsey has struggled with anxiety. In an Instagram post in 2018, she wrote, &ldquo;This year, I put a lot of pressure on myself that I would get anxiety attacks &mdash; something that I never had to deal with before.&rdquo;
 Her greatest challenge had been to sleep alone, as it would lead her to have sleep anxiety, which is behaviorally defined as induced fear from solitude and rest, which then activates physical symptoms such as shortness of breath or profuse sweating.

"I dare to dream bigger now because I think nothing is impossible.&rdquo;

dress, Givenchy earrings, necklace, ring, LVNA by Drake Dustin

Kelsey says her sleep anxiety began within the last two years. &ldquo;To be honest, I didn&rsquo;t know how to cope with it. I was afraid of traveling alone because I knew I wouldn&rsquo;t be able to sleep alone,&rdquo; she says. She sought help from a life coach, who told her that her mind was somewhere else and that she would do well to be more mindful and stay in the present. &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t think I really gave those two words any thought before &mdash; to be mindful, and to be present. So, I&rsquo;ve been working on getting better at doing those two things. It helps whenever my thoughts start to take over. I just remind myself to be present: to listen to the sounds around me, notice my surroundings, to live in the present, and not inside my head.&rdquo;
 &ldquo;One thing that helped was when I did a really exhausting workout, I would be so tired at night that I didn&rsquo;t have the energy to think about what I was anxious about. [Working out] plays a big role, but I didn&rsquo;t realize just how big it was until I noticed how it helped with my anxiety.&rdquo; Kelsey adds, &ldquo;If my mind is scattered and feels anxious, I use the app, Headspace, and it helps so much to calm me down. I find meditating just for a few minutes helps so much to center me.&rdquo;
 It&rsquo;s exactly this drive to constantly reevaluate and learn about life that contributes largely to Kelsey&rsquo;s success. Not one to give in to struggle, she continues to overcome obstacles and to aim high. She reveals, &ldquo;I&rsquo;m at a point in my career where I&rsquo;m happy and proud of what I&rsquo;ve accomplished. I set goals for myself which would have been crazy to me before, and now, I dare to dream, as long as I put in the work as well. I dare to dream bigger now because I think nothing is impossible.&rdquo;

PRODUCER Jen Wolf MAKEUP Wendy Martinez HAIR Rena Calhoun VIDEO DIRECTOR Jen Wolf LIGHTING ASSISTANT Israel Mondaca PHOTO EDITOR Eugene David VIDEO EDITOR MV Isip

Kelsey Merritt: Owning Her Space, Defining Her Place

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